To My Katherine...aka Boose.
Yesterday was my baby girl's 17th birthday. This makes 5 birthdays I have missed, since you were kidnapped. I say kidnapped because that is what happened. One day we are laughing getting ready for the beach and the next your mother hijacking you away and brainwashing you with lies upon lies. I pray everyday that God will soften hearts and someone will reach out.
The last time we sat and visited was in doctors office and time before that we watched baby Nick play soccer. Do you remember you were right by my side the whole time watching Nick. Sharing bubble gum and critiquing American Idol. In matter of 1 hour your mother and grandmother pressured you not to see me. If I was to bet, your heart was so torn up and you wanted to see me. I'm so sorry Katie for putting your through that day. Shame on those women.
To make things worse that weekend, the letter you wrote to me to give Nana, at Luby's, was so crafted by your mom. It sounded like a lawyer wrote that note. Those weren't your words. Just by holding that letter I could feel the hurt and knowing it wasn't your words.
The day at the doctors office was a day that I will never forget, It was Holy week. I had Easter gifts for you all. When I was asked to be frisked by a hired Sherriff because your mom thought I was carrying weapons, I knew she then she was bat shit crazy. I never felt so sorry for you all. To think that you had to drive all the way to and from Houston (YOUR HOME) with a hired Hidalgo County Sherriff...what a mess she had become.
When you walked in that play room, my heart was so filled with joy, but then to see the terror in your eyes as If I was going to hurt you all, broke my heart. There I stood thinking "I am your daddy and I would never hurt any of you...ever" and yet the mother of my children had done nothing but brainwash you all with lies and terrorize you with fear. My poor babies.
In a matter of 10 minutes we (Jack, you and I) were smiling and trying to melt away some of the hurt. Unfortunately Olivia, kept brow-beating you down. It's not her fault either, she had been told the same lies and was doing her best to protect you all. I think the hardest part of that day was saying good bye. I could tell by the look in yours and Jack's eyes that you wanted to be held, but you had to play strong in front of Olivia. I understood. That "oh how I wish I could hug my dad" look still rings in my head. The hardest was baby Nick hugging me good bye. I remember him looking up and asking me in his cute baby-whispy voice "when are you coming home dad?' I cry every time I write that sentence. I pray you or your husband never ever have to go through such a day.
It's 2013, a lot has passed. I understand that you have had some hard times. I wish I was there to hold you, maybe even scold you, but just to see you and be a part of those past 5 years.
The last time I saw you at freebirds was so unbelievable. So surreal.To have seen all of my children at one location was a true blessing. You all are the most precious, most beautiful children.
That whole 30 seconds was like a slow motion movie in my mind. I hadn't seen you guys in 3 years and there you stood 10 feet away, while Mike was pulling me away.
You need to know a few things;
* I never stalked you guys
* I never tried to run Olivia down with a car - That is just fucking insane
* I never ever touched baby Nick in a perverted way - That is even more sick than above
* I miss you all so very bad.
* My unconditional love for you is stronger now than ever. I love you Boose.
So what's next? You have always had the brains, the gumption, the courage, the passion.
Let's talk. Take it slow. I wont bad mouth your mom. She is who she is.
Come let's mend the hole that's in our hearts. I cant do this alone.
You are going to finish High School and I want to help as best I can with college.
Katie, I miss you so much. I do cry every single night. I keep praying that someone will step out of the shadow of fear and reach out. Please Boose...step out, reach out. I am not the monster your mom has created. For the first 12 years we were the best father daughter team around. My arms are wide open. God Bless my baby girl and happy birthday.
Love you always, Daddy
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