Your Father is Always Near

To my little man.
I miss you oh happy little boy. You daddy thinks about you everyday. I know that you are doing well in school and keeping your classmates laughing. You bring such joy to everyone you meet. I hope someday, someone will let you write me a letter or call me.
Just know my little man that your daddy is here for you. I have never forgotten you.
Someday when you get older you will discover the truth. The ones that take care of you now, have told your little mind so many lies, you probably don't know what or who to believe. When you get confused pray about it. Cross your little hands together, bow your head and ask God to show you the truth. He will answer. God is there for you always, just like daddy.

I often see you in my dreams. At night I can close my eyes and still hear your little baby voice calling my name and yelling "Daaaaaaad come read to me." There are days when I drive by school yards, I think I can see you swinging on the monkey bars, like you always did, but then I realize it's just my imagination. There are nights that I stare at your picture, then close my eyes and smell your sweaty little boy scent. Yes, I think you often little man.

I hope to see you soon. I pray for miracles. Do you remember the last thing you said to me at the doctors office. We finished playing connect four and it was time to leave. You looked at me with those big brown eyes with a sad stare, raised your arms up wanting me to hold you and asked " dad why don't you come home with me and play." The whole room stool still. All of your sisters and brother just stared waiting for me to say something mean. I knelt down on one knee, trying to hold back any tears, and held your little hands and said "that sounds like fun, but I can't right now, but soon...real soon." I reached down grabbed you under your little arms and picked you up. You smiled so big. It was a smile I had seen so many times of the first 4 years of your life. A smile that shouts "I love my daddy" and "never let me go daddy." A smile that I will never ever forget. I hugged you so tight and then gently placed you down on the floor. You stood up and bear hugged my waist and wouldn't let me go. You held me so tight like you knew you would not see me for a very long time. As my eyes continued to swell with tears, I slowly pealed your little arms off my waist. In all my 47 years on earth, that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I pray little one that you never have to go through such pain with your children. That was Thursday of holy week, April 2008. A day I mark in my calendar every year. It was the last time I'd seen all of you together.

God has plans for us little man. Special plans just for you and me. We'll make up for all the lost time. Don't be mad at those who won't let you see me. Pray for God to soften their hearts.
I am your father and your daddy. You are my most precious youngest son. You are a Wright.
You are a child of God and I will always love you.

Daddy waits for you.

Poem for Girls

From A Distance

Each day I wake
With an empty feeling and ache
That something is missing from my soul
So from a distance
I pray for instance, a prayer that will fill up this hole.

A child was taken
Turned around and shaken
Has new friends but sometimes feels alone.
So from a distance
She prays for instance, a prayer that someday she’ll find home.

CHORUS
And from a distance the two shall wait
To mend the love despite the hate,
To reunite the love once had
That special bond of daughter and dad


It been 3 years
Lots of doctors and tears
I know God is watching up above.
So from a distance
We pray for instance, a common prayer of love.

CHORUS
And from a distance the two shall wait
To mend the love despite the hate,
To reunite the love once had
That special bond of daughter and dad

It's Time To Tell The Story

It has taken me 3 years to finally get the strength to draft this blog. The problem has been where do I start? I'm not a writer so for me to keep my thoughts in line is a challenge.
After praying allot I decided just to jump in head first. I will try to connect the dots when I can but for now expressing these thoughts are just therapeutic.

Rules
* Jesus Christ is my savior and He and only He knows the truth.
* No mention of names.
* BOTH parents love their children.
* My children need to know that I AM HERE FOR THEM for whatever reasons.


Divorce is terrible.
It brings out the most horrible character of man.
Man is full of sin and divorce fuels it's sinful actions.
God commands us not to divorce and yes I filed for divorce and it is an act again God.
I have asked God for forgiveness many, many, many of times.
I filed for one reason...to get my children back home. It was the only legal avenue I had to get them back into their home.

Oh our home...
There are endless nights that I lay in bed remembering the many nights I spent laying next to them reading them their favorite books like; Stinky Cheese Man, Juny B, Goodnight Moon, Brown Bear Brown Bear or any Dr. Seuss story.
Those endless nights when they were sick, or scarred, or just "couldn't fall asleep"....and they did in 3 minutes, as you sat at the end of the bed rubbing their feet.

I can still see my oldest bedroom; with her proudly painted bright colored walls, sprinkled with pre-teen posters. Her pretty drapery and fuzzy pillows on the bed. She took pride in keeping her room clean. That was a true sign she was growing up. One of many.
I can see my youngest girl's room with her pretty white desk all cluttered with hair bows, hair clips and hair ribbons. She had more over stuffed animals on the bed more than any one I knew. She kept her favorite books next her bedside. Juny B was our faves. She was my sports babe. She liked it when we would collect sports items together.
I can see my boys room; with their favorite books, sweaty pants and plastic toys scattered on the floor. On Saturday mornings after cartoons, we would rearrange the stuff (we never really cleaned. lol) while listening to songs blasting from the CD player - Kyptonite and Me and My Gang were favorites. I would an pick up an item and give it to little man who would then put it on his big brother's bed and visa versa. This was OUR assembly line routine.

Divorce is ugly.
When people are so hurt they will say or do anything to you just to ease their own pain.
Usually a deep rooted pain that you didn't cause but you were the closest smuk around at the time to get it.
It is amazing to think that somebody that you pledge vows before God, conceive children together and share a future can be your worst nightmare. How can it be that in one day say "I love you" with sincerity and passion and the next day be so selfish and up root and destroy a family unit all for their own benefit.

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Birthday To My Hero

Well this week my liitle man turns 12 years old and could not be more proud him.
Here is my tribute to my hero.

This will be the 3rd birthday buddy I haven't spent with you there in person, but deep deep down I hope you know I'm there is spirit. Someday I hope your mom will let me visit, or even let you call me.
I think about you everyday and when special days like come around my heart gets even more emotional.
From the day you were taken away, I could always feel your little heart missing me.
I ask your mom and nana many times to send me pictures and how you are doing, but like you said they are just so mad. I feel that I am slipping away from your mind and I pray to God that I am still in your heart and mind, and that someday you will call me. Call me to say hi, what's new and any other questions.
Dr. Diaz tells me you did well in school and that's great.