Your Father is Always Near

To my little man.
I miss you oh happy little boy. You daddy thinks about you everyday. I know that you are doing well in school and keeping your classmates laughing. You bring such joy to everyone you meet. I hope someday, someone will let you write me a letter or call me.
Just know my little man that your daddy is here for you. I have never forgotten you.
Someday when you get older you will discover the truth. The ones that take care of you now, have told your little mind so many lies, you probably don't know what or who to believe. When you get confused pray about it. Cross your little hands together, bow your head and ask God to show you the truth. He will answer. God is there for you always, just like daddy.

I often see you in my dreams. At night I can close my eyes and still hear your little baby voice calling my name and yelling "Daaaaaaad come read to me." There are days when I drive by school yards, I think I can see you swinging on the monkey bars, like you always did, but then I realize it's just my imagination. There are nights that I stare at your picture, then close my eyes and smell your sweaty little boy scent. Yes, I think you often little man.

I hope to see you soon. I pray for miracles. Do you remember the last thing you said to me at the doctors office. We finished playing connect four and it was time to leave. You looked at me with those big brown eyes with a sad stare, raised your arms up wanting me to hold you and asked " dad why don't you come home with me and play." The whole room stool still. All of your sisters and brother just stared waiting for me to say something mean. I knelt down on one knee, trying to hold back any tears, and held your little hands and said "that sounds like fun, but I can't right now, but soon...real soon." I reached down grabbed you under your little arms and picked you up. You smiled so big. It was a smile I had seen so many times of the first 4 years of your life. A smile that shouts "I love my daddy" and "never let me go daddy." A smile that I will never ever forget. I hugged you so tight and then gently placed you down on the floor. You stood up and bear hugged my waist and wouldn't let me go. You held me so tight like you knew you would not see me for a very long time. As my eyes continued to swell with tears, I slowly pealed your little arms off my waist. In all my 47 years on earth, that was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I pray little one that you never have to go through such pain with your children. That was Thursday of holy week, April 2008. A day I mark in my calendar every year. It was the last time I'd seen all of you together.

God has plans for us little man. Special plans just for you and me. We'll make up for all the lost time. Don't be mad at those who won't let you see me. Pray for God to soften their hearts.
I am your father and your daddy. You are my most precious youngest son. You are a Wright.
You are a child of God and I will always love you.

Daddy waits for you.